University of Toronto - The Arts and Science of Relationships: Understanding Human Needs 

Introducing Your Course Instructor!

What is this course about?

Relationships Overview

1.1 Why do people get involved in relationships?

1.2 Intrinsic & Extrinsic Needs

1.3 Relationships & Self

1.4 Relationship & Wellness

What is SSLD?

1.5 Introducing N3C

1.6 Individualized N3C

1.7 N3C: Circumstances

1.8 N3C: Characteristics

1.9 N3C: Capacity

Relationship & N3C

Problem Translation

1.10 Differences & Biodiversity

1.11 Similarities & Differences

1.12 Capacity to deal with differences

1.13 Managing Differences

1.14 Managing Differences: Examples

Conclusion

Our Dedicated Team

Course Readings and Resources

Recommended Reading for Module 1

Needs and Wants

Examples of Problem Translation

Module 1 Lecture Note

Additional Resources for Module 1

Optional: Demographic Survey

Optional: Pre-course quiz regarding learning expectation

Why do YOU have relationships?

N3C Case Analysis Practice

The Controlling Partner: Underlying Needs

Your attitude towards differences

Differences in Relationships

Managing Differences

Overview of Module 2

2.1 Social Scripts

2.2 Social Scripts and Traps

2.3 Social Scripts and Traps: Consumerism

2.4 Social Scripts: Attachment Theory

2.5 SSLD on changing relationship pattern

2.6 Natural Imagination

2.7 Game Plan & Human Nature

2.8 "The One" Myth

2.9 How much is up to us?

2.10 Mind Reading Fantasy

2.11 Spontaneity

2.12 Game Plan

How to Create a Game Plan for your relationship?

Online Dating

2.13 Initial Contact 1: First Impression

2.14 Initial Contact 2: Body Language

2.15 Initial Contact 3: Positive Reframing

2.16 Initial Contact 4: Summary

Conclusion

Introduction to Social Scripts

Recommended Reading on Attachment Theory

Recommended Reading on Initial Contact

Module 2 Lecture Notes

Additional Resources for Module 2

Your Social Scripts and Relationships

Strategies on Changing Relationship Pattern

Form of Relationships

Create a game plan for your first (or next) date!

How important are they?

Impression management

Overview of Module 3

3.1 The 4 Content Areas

3.2 Four Content Areas - How are they useful?

3.3 Reception Overview

3.4 Reception - Ideas 1: Attitudes

3.5 Reception - Ideas 2: Position

3.6 Reception - Ideas 3: Opinions

3.7 Reception - Emotional Content

3.8 Reception - Importance of Understanding Someone's Needs

3.9 Reception - Needs

3.10 Attributions 1: Introduction

3.11 Attributions 2: Multiple Contingencies Thinking

3.12 Attributions 3: Needs

3.13 Signifying Acts

3.14 Signifying Acts and Culture

3.15 Cultural Literacy Approach

Reception to Expression

3.16 Expression: Facts

3.17 Expression - Ideas 1: Matching N3C

3.18 Expression - Ideas 2: Technical Tips

3.19 Expression - Ideas 3: Staying Attuned

3.20 Expression - Emotions 1: Experience, Expression and Feedback

3.21 Expression - Emotions 2: Regulations

3.22 Expression - Emotions 3: Emotional Work

3.23 Expression - Needs

Conclusion

Emotional work vs. Emotional Regulation

Recommended Reading for Module 3

Module 3 Lecture Notes

Additional Resources for Module 3

Identifying the 4 content areas

Differentiating Needs & Wants

What are their emotions?

Needs Assessment through Conversations

Listening to Needs

Understanding Attributions & Signifying Acts

Expressing Facts or Ideas

Expressing Emotions

Expressing Needs

Overview of Module 4

4.1 Social Exchange Theory and Beyond

4.2 Value Reconsidered

4.3 The 6 Domains of Our Lifeworld

4.4 The Issue of Power

4.5 Power, Balance and Giving

4.6 Compatibility: Needs

4.7 Compatibility: Circumstances

4.8 Compatibility: Characteristics & Capacity

4.9 Compatibility, Differences and Changes

4.10 Intimacy

4.11 Idea of Intimacy 1

4.12 Idea of Intimacy 2

4.13 Fear of Intimacy

4.14 Fear of Commitment

4.15 Building Intimacy

4.16 The Role of Physical Intimacy

4.17 Intimacy and Sharing of Personal Difficulties

4.18 Physical Intimacy and Presence

4.19 SSLD Strategies for Building & Maintaining Relationships

4.20 To Grow or Not to Grow?

4.21 Growth and Intimacy

4.22 Stability or Excitement?

4.23 Happenings or Rituals?

4.24 Achieving Win-Win Arrangements

Conclusion

Recommended Reading for Module 4

Relationship Building Tools

Module 4 Lecture Notes

Additional Resources for Module 4

Examining the Social Exchange Perspective

What are the 6 domains of our lifeworld?

Driving factors of Power in a Relationship

Assessing Compatibility

Exploring Your Own Idea of Intimacy

Enhancing presence online

Creating Your Own Happenings and Rituals

Valuable Lessons Learned

Overview of Module 5

5.1 Culture, History, and Technology

5.2 Six Domains of Transformation - Environment

5.3 Six Domains of Transformation - Cognition

5.4 Six Domains of Transformation - Emotion & Motivation

5.5 Six Domains of Transformation - Body & Behaviour

5.6 Mutual Needs

5.7 Separation-Individuation 1

5.8 Separation-Individuation 2

5.9 How can we deal with each other's unmet needs?

5.10 Aging: Part 1

5.11 Aging: Part 2

5.12 Transformation & Termination

5.13 Coping with transformation and termination

5.14 Coping with emotional challenges

5.15 Coping with major life transitions

5.16 Self-Preservation

5.17 Difficult Transition

5.18 Lifeworld Design

Conclusion

The Breakup Journey

Recommended Reading for Module 5

Module 5 Lecture Notes

Additional Resources for Module 5

Relationships that Need to be Transformed

Cultural Rules

Where do you experience it in your body?

Transformed Relationships

Managing Transformation

Relationships and Aging

Optional Quiz: Love Beyond Death

Experience of Termination

Get Over Self-Blame and Guilt

Managing the Emotional Challenges of Transformation/Termination

Major Transitions in Life

Your Transformed Relationship

Overview of Module 6

6.1 What is Love

6.2 Six Domains of Love

6.3 Concluding on What is Love

6.4 Sexuality

6.5 Needs Addressed by Sex

6.6 Psychological Needs

6.7 Social Needs

6.8 Spirituality

6.9 Sex and Quality of Relationship

6.10 Diversity in Sexual Expression

6.11 Erotic Justice

6.12 Instrumental Relationships

6.13 Relationship Problems - Communication

6.14 A Case on Relationship Problem

6.15 Dealing with Relationship Problems

6.16 Affairs: Part 1

6.17 Affairs: Part 2 - Affairs and Beyond

6.18 Dysfunctional Relationships

6.19 The Challenges of Transformation and Change

6.20 It all comes back to the self: The SSLD ideal

Concluding the Course

Engaging Non-Normative Sexualities & Desires

Module 6 Lecture Notes

Additional Resources for Module 6

Your Own Idea of Love

Activity, Interaction, and Relationship

Communicating the Meaning of Sex

Deviant Sexual Practice and Culture

Social Disadvantage and Sexual Life-Chances

Dysfunctional Relationship

Review

Have You Changed?

Course Evaluation