Call for a Resolution: Traditional V/s Contemporary

I am in Class 10 and am very keen on choosing music as a career. I wish to join a famous European music academy. I believe I have talent and can play any tune on a variety of instruments. However, my parents insist I follow their example and become an engineer. They are wonderful parents and I appreciate how much pain they have taken for me. I'd hate to disappoint them but I can't do without music as a career. How do I solve this conflict? - Anuraag.

It is good that you have pride in your career choice and also have empathy for your parents. This also calls for a resolution between your parents' dream and your own career choice. Parents tend to have a strong influence on the child's career choice though the final option rests on the individual. One does need well analysed guidance and reflective thinking to choose the best way to charter the career path.

In your case the key goal should be to pursue higher education and discover the work you love to do. There are professionals who combine their engineering wisdom with the technological component of music. Nevertheless, if you are very passionate about music right now, your parents should believe in what you look upon as a bright future. They can be called upon by your key mentors, including your music teacher, for a dialogue regarding your love and dedication towards the field of music.

It is never too late to make a start provided you are keen on it. Have confidence in yourself and in that vocation which you wish to undertake. Patience and perseverance spell magic for any career. If the habit of self pity is reversed gradually, you can learn to treat yourself right and your confidence will grow stronger. Do speak to a career counsellor to get things in order. Good luck.

My 14-year-old son is smart, but at times too smart for his age. My concern is his fear of topics related to sexual health. His school offers a course on human growth and development in the health curriculum. But my son avoids this subject. I am prepared to have a thorough talk with him concerning adolescent education. I know it is embarrassing for a 14-year-old, but why such reluctance when most of his friends do not have a problem with it? I hope this is not a sign of an emotional disorder. - Raagini.

Talking about sexual health is a prickly topic for both parents and teenagers. All children are not alike. So, your son's being different from others is not a matter of worry. I am glad that the school is taking the initiative to educate children about these topics. Find out if there is a difficulty because of any method of teaching and how many more students are opting out. Have a calm discussion with him to find out why is he so reluctant to discuss such matters.

Has he witnessed or experienced something that makes him feel so? If your son is a bit nervous or even unwilling to have the subject of sex broached directly, it is not necessarily a sign of an emotional problem. Some children are shy but grow up to be normal. You can discuss this issue with him later when he is more receptive. You could try out story reading, drama or music to introduce him to different emotional expressions.

As a parent, it's good to remember that open discussions on issues related to growing up and sexuality can bring up strong feelings of denial in wanting to broach the subject. Relax! Let him grow up at his own pace and keep talking to him. Many teenagers are late bloomers and may not really feel the need to be pressed upon concerning certain themes in their lives. Nevertheless, group orientation by the school can really keep in breaking the ice on the subject.

 

Author: Jitendra Nagpal (HT Horizons)

Date: 19th October, 2010

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