Maintaining Space with the Competition

I am a student of Class 11 in the commerce stream. I had not done well in the Class 10 exams as I was finding it very hard to concentrate and pay attention to my studies. I am very concerned now as I need to perform better to keep up with the competition. I also get easily distracted while watching TV and working on the computer. Should I be worried? Is it some kind of a mental disorder! - Rachit.

There can be numerous reasons for lack of concentration. Intrusive thoughts about what one does or does not know, how well or badly one may do in an examination, what people would say if the performance is not "good enough", etc are haunting thoughts that keep coming in the way of work.

Worry about what one's parent, teacher or peer might think, the fear of being judged as inferior, certainly plays havoc with our abilities. If you are preoccupied with anxious thoughts, then try to calm down and focus on the task at hand without worrying about your performance. Do talk about it with someone you trust if you cannot control your anxiety or are greatly disturbed.

You can also try some simple strategies; when reading the material for the first time, use strategies such as marking or pencilling off the important portions. Alternately, keep a small space in the margin where you can pencil in a quick precis of the material covered, so that a glance at these two three lines or a brief comment can invoke a memory of the whole complex chapter. This will also help you review the material rapidly in times of stress, say just before an examination.

After you have finished studying a large unit, always take a break before going on to the next one. Try to eliminate extraneous sensations and images, and focus on what has just been read. Also, try to summarise it quickly to self and try to "save" the summary in memory.

People who have unusually high attention difficulties are said to suffer from what is known as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). They are unable to pay attention to a task for more than a few minutes, without losing focus. If you get distracted easily and are unable to understand the cause behind it, consult your school counsellor for further guidance.

I am very concerned about my younger sister who is 14 years old and has developed the habit of lying and making up stories. She has started lying to me and our parents about almost everything and is also distancing herself from us. She is becoming aggressive and has even gone to the extent of fighting with her grandmother. My parents have tried to discipline her by scolding and reprimanding her but there is no change in her behaviour. - Shri.

Try to understand her by putting yourself in her shoes. She might be lying because she feels a need to lie and this could be happening because she is not able to trust the people around her or because she fears of family disapproval. She might be distancing herself because she feels no one understands her. Adolescence can be quite overwhelming and this might be her way of dealing with it.

The young learn behaviour from those around them, so it is also possible she might be emulating someone who shows disrespect to the elders of the family. Try and find out how she got provoked to take such a step. As children grow, they may begin to resent adult authority.

Talk to your sister about her behaviour when she is in a good mood. Ask her to confide in you if there are any problems she is dealing with. Be affectionate and understanding. Constant reprimanding will make her more rebellious. Give her a set of rules that are reasonable. Make her realise that it is silly to be rude to those she loves. If this does not work, take help from a psychologist.

 

Author: Jitendra Nagpal (HT Horizons)

Date: 22nd October, 2010

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