COPING WITH EXAM RESULTS STRESS 7

COPING WITH EXAM RESULTS  STRESS

Ms Malini Shah Senior Counselor & Therapist, Dr Nirmala Rao and Sachin Tambe counselor --- at Aavishkar,
                                                             Tel no 98704 96238/ 2422 7515


With results around the corner , the city students are preparing to go through the rigmarole of marks, seeking admissions and COPING WITH THE SETBACKS OF getting low marks. If you have not scored as well as you expected in your exams or have failed altogether, you may be going through a difficult time.

• You may feel guilty about not having risen to your parents' expectations.
• You may feel confused about what to do next and the avenues open to you.
• You may feel depressed and find that you are unable to deal with these low feelings.
• You could even feel suicidal.

Feeling suicidal

If you feel suicidal, inform your parents about your state of mind and get help Remember, suicide is just a means to run away from the situation and, if you stop to think about it, you will not like yourself for even attempting it.
If you know someone who has not done well and talks about suicide, try to talk him/ her out of it. Inform his/ her parents and get help.

Encourage and be supportive of him/ her, explain this just a minor setback. Keep in touch with him/ her. Maybe the support you extend will help him/ her deal with this difficult period.

Here are some tips for all those of you who are feeling down and out now that your results are finally out.

• Feeling down in the dumps… Here’ s help

Tap your strengths

• Accept your marks. If you know you could have done well but did not, do not feel disheartened. This phase is not permanent. So cheer up. Often, luck has a role to play too.
• Do not compare yourself with those who have got good marks; it will dampen your spirit even more. Positive thinking and confidence in one's abilities is very essential. Writing down your strengths would be a good idea.
• Try to recall how you coped with a similar situation in the past. It's time to exercise that strategy once again! Try to work through your feelings, experience and  assimilate them and then attempt to move on.

Share your feelings with your parents

Instead of blaming yourself or focusing on what you do not have, try to talk it out with parents, close friends or any other person with whom you are comfortable. Your intense low feelings need an outlet. 

Taking your parents into confidence is very important. They may initially shout or be disappointed, but they will definitely help in the long run in terms of choosing career options/ alternatives.

Talking with your child and instilling trust in their abilities  will help them to deal with the difficult period .

Stay positive, plan ahead

• Try to look at your failure in a positive way and as a learning curve for the future instead of thinking about your mistakes.
• I can do well and I will do well'. This must be your motto henceforth. Also, remind yourself this is a passing phase and you will get over it.
• Write down your thoughts; this will help improve your sense of clarity.

Happiness is a state of mind; so is unhappiness.

The latter is caused by your thoughts in response to a situation, as well as the helplessness you feel while dealing with the situation. You could also feel that the circumstance is brought about by external situations, which is not true.

"You are what you think. Hence, if you remain conscious about your thoughts, you can alter them and gain control over your feelings."

You may feel you can do nothing to change your situation. However, you must be aware of your positive qualities and use them to be confident. Accepting that there will ups and downs is essential. This will help you deal with situations in a better way.

• Express your emotions and communicate constantly; many times, a breakdown in communication makes us feel lonely and that no one is with me. Communication will help to generate solutions to move ahead.
• Letting Go is very important .Let the phase be taken as a bad dream and overcome it.

Get help and guidance

• If you are feeling very depressed and cannot cope with the stress, seek the help of your significant other or friends or professional help. See a psychiatrist/ counselor/ therapist who can help you deal with the stress.
• An aptitude test or career counseling will help you know your abilities and interest patterns; this way, you can decide on the right career choice.

TIPS FOR PARENTS TO HANDLE EXAM RESULT STRESS

1. Talking to your child helps in the sense they can communicate their fears and not feel alone or overwhelmed by it.
2. Try to be supportive and motivate the child .Giving moral support and instilling trust in the child’s abilities will be beneficial.
3. Try to take the child to a previous well handled situation and rebuild their confidence in themselves.
4. Expect the best .Marks are not equal to your child’s potential .A well adapted child can handle difficulties with ease .You can definitely control this part.
5. Last but not the least, you can guide your child but cannot live his or her destiny. So try to avoid unnecessary blame or guilt if things are different.

Ms Malini Shah

Aavishkar Centre

Tele: + 91 98704 96238/2422 7515

Email: shahmalini702@yahoo.co.uk

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