Teenage Concerns: Need A Close Watch!
My son is 13. For the past six months, he has been upset and is complaining about being bullied by some classmates. I have confirmed this with a couple of his peers. We have notified some of the bullies. What should we do about it?
Well, your son is going on 14, which is the time for exciting friendships which indeed play a dominant role in ensuring one's social and emotional well-being. Yes, it can be scary for him if he is bullied by some classmates. It is well-known that the bullied have difficulty coping with all types of negative emotions, including aggression.
As a guardian, you should watch out for any signs of distress in your child. Children are often reluctant to speak up for fear of making things worse at school. With comforting assurances, get him to talk to you further and confide in the teacher/ principal. Advise him not to give in to the bullies' demands. This is also the time to encourage your child to be more assertive and thereby help him develop a strong sense of self-respect and self-worth. Keep a record of what has happened and intervene at all levels to resolve the matter with the school administration. It's the school's responsibility to highlight zero tolerance to bullying in any form.
It also important to remember that bullying is a conditioning of attitude and behaviour where one is ‘controls' the other. It has long-term repercussions for the victim's emotional development. The bully himself often needs psychological therapy.
I am 17. My mother, 47, has been suffering from depression for the past three years. Being her only support, I find it very difficult to cope with her emotional distress. How do I take care of her?
Depressed patients with chronic medical conditions show significantly more disability than non-depressed people.
Your must provide your mother with the emotional support she requires and encourage her to get treatment.
Educate yourself more about the symptoms, causes and holistic management of depression. Remember, such emotional states siphon away positive energy and optimism, and also make a person irritable and hostile. Be patient. Being supportive involves encouraging her to take part in meaningful activities and hope for good things to happen. Let your mother know that depression is curable when help is mobilised from all quarters. She must be open to receiving help to get rid of the problem completely. Try and make her feel positive, because the problem will not disappear on its own. Do seek professional help when required.
My daughter, 18, is soon going to join college. She has been an introvert. Can I help her in any way?
College is quite different from school. On the happier side, it is a carefree period of fun and enjoyment. This is when your child gets the first taste of complete autonomy. There are different activities to participate in, friends to make, and a whole new vista of opportunities to discover.
Of course, it is not a bed of roses. Higher education institutes have a relatively less protective environment than that of a school. Students are expected to manage their studies and projects on their own. Often, subject matter is not offered on a platter and requires research. Facilitation by parents is very important for students in this period. Do not let your daughter feel either pressurised. Highlight the advantages of a college education. If she has a few friends, the transition will be easier. Encourage her to talk to other students during admissions and interviews. Suggest that she sign up for a self-development course. The college environment requires one to be more enterprising and creative. Building up relevant skills will help in this. She can attend workshops pertinent to her subjects.
Author: Jitendra Nagpal (HT Horizons)
Date: 5th May 2011
