Typical Teenage Problems: Here are the ones we encountered!
I am in Class 12 and constantly encounter those typical questions and orders from my parents: ‘Why do you want to spend more time with your friends? Don't you see enough of them at school? You need to be more serious about your studies. Do this on time, do that on time and do this properly...' I am told I am clumsy and disorganised. This is disgusting. Do tell me how I should handle this?
-Fed-up
Typical teenage peeves, isn't it? Do you feel that your parents give you less freedom than you are entitled to, much less than your friends? Usually this is because they genuinely worry about you, about how you'll keep up with your studies and health if you stay out too late and too often. Are you likely to face any social conflict? All these are realistic fears; they can come true. But these fears are relatively easy to deal with, so long as they are brought into the open and discussed. It's more difficult if your freedom is restricted just because your parents have fixed ideas about what ought to or ought not to be, or if strict rules are laid down which don't seem to make real sense to you.
Don't you think, they see themselves as good parents? You have to make it easy for them to let go of the reins a little, but still make them feel that they are doing their job well. One way to do this is to bring home the friends who are allowed extra freedom, so that your parents can see that they are not those who will lead you into deep trouble. Aim for small concessions at first. There's no point in demanding something you know they will certainly refuse, such as being allowed to come home whenever you like every night of the week.
As far as tidiness and being organised go, it's a welcome suggestion from parents. Try it. It will improve your self worth and pride.
Good luck!
I'm 18 and have a large group of friends. It is very important for me to spend a lot of time with my peers because I feel I have learnt a lot about my life from them. But I have not been sharing some of my social activities with my parents and feel terribly guilty about it. What should I do?
-Mortified
It's good that despite this difficult experience, you recognised your mistake. We all go through experiences that make us feel distressed. Your reaction is understandable. However, it is important to treat this experience as one of good learning and make sure that you don't spend any time feeling traumatised by it. This can be achieved by facing the situation head-on and not running away from it. Facing your parents and letting them know about what you are up to could be very unpleasant initially, but each time that you talk to them and make them understand the reasons why you behaved the way you did, the more comfortable you'll feel talking to them. The next step would be to reduce the significance you attach to your behaviour. This will pass off as a phase of life.
As for your parents, surely they must have been able to cope and probably are not thinking of it as seriously as you are. It will be good to have a heart-to-heart talk with them and express your feelings of guilt. In all probability, they will support and guide you. Remind yourself of your strengths and capabilities and make the most of these.
Author: Jitendra Nagpal (HT Horizons)
Date: 28th April 2011
